Friday, April 20, 2018

Medium Person turns 15!

“Let me photograph you in this light
In case it is the last time
That we might be exactly like we were
Before we realized
We were sad of getting old
It made us restless
It was just like a movie
It was just like a song”

Every year, I try to find ways to tell you how amazing you are.  Every year, I manage to throw some words together to let you know that you’re everything I hoped for and more.  I usually have a theme for the aforementioned thrown together words.  Well, I’ll be honest, I don’t have one this year.  You’re turning 15!  Sheesh!

This week you and I had a conversation about how excited I am about you growing up, but also how fearful I am of you growing up.  It’s not what you think.  It’s not because I want to protect you from the world.  Nope. You know how to handle yourself and you also know that you have a crazy mom and even crazier dad who will DESTROY anything necessary to make sure you’re safe.  

The fear comes from the fact that I will not be able to ride your coattails much longer.  The truth is, I’ve been able to be a pretty mediocre mom, because you’re just so freaking awesome.  I find myself scrambling to come up with some identity that is my own.  You see, being asked if I was your mom, meant that people had already prejudged me as awesome, because they knew you.  They knew YOUR character and assumed you got it from me.  Little did they know that your character helped mold me from a very young age.  

The first instance was when you were a 2nd grader at the local elementary school.  A gifted “teacher” was angry that you didn’t believe in Santa and she lied about your behavior.  Not a huge lie, but one big enough for me to investigate further.  Other adults confirmed what I need to know and we left public school that year.  Fast forward a year or two, and we see this “teacher” at a local store.  She smiled sweetly at you and said hello.  I opened my mouth to pepper her bland potato salad with some spicy expletives.  Before I had an opportunity, you said, “Hello, Mrs. ________!  How are you!”  (I won’t repeat her name, although, I would love to air her out.)You smiled sweetly and rushed me down the aisles.  Crisis averted, thanks to your kind disposition.  That moment, is one of many, where I ask myself how I possibly could have helped make such a kind, sweet human! (Let’s hope for her sake, you’re always with me, though.  Because, if I see her, well, you know about the hot sauce, ok, I’m kidding.)

Sometimes when I’m upset with you, I say, “You’re nothing like me and it’s hard for me to understand you!”  On today, I want you to know, more than anything, that I’m glad you’re nothing like me.  Yes, you have some of my DNA, but ultimately, the universe has formed you into this amazing human being who goes above and beyond marching to the beat of her own drum.  

You have responded  with such grace during times of chaos in our lives.  You have refused to prejudge family or friends based on my bias and for that, I am immensely proud.  I love having those moments when you self correct.  As you mature, I want you to know that nothing makes me more proud than observing you being self-aware.  You adjust your own behavior and apologize.  Real apologies.  Not ones with “ifs” or “buts.”  

This means that soon, we will be pushing you out of the proverbial nest.   Instead of sadness, I must say, I’m excited for this world to experience what I’ve kept to myself for so long.  The huge amount of love you have to share and the brightness of your beautiful smile will extinguish any doubt about there being a higher power.  I know that sounds huge and probably impossible.  But it’s a truth that I’ve known since you opened your gorgeous, big brown eyes and looked at me for the very first time.  

In the mean time, I am going to enjoy the smell of your hair and the sound of your horrible jokes.  I’m going to relish in the fact that your Dad will never be able to top my birthday tributes to you.  Yeah, I know, I know, it’s not a competition, but it is.  I know you love us equally, blah blah blah.  

I guess I should have some type of cathartic moment that wraps up my ramblings.  Here goes:
I love you.  You’re brilliant, hilarious, and the type of friend that people search their whole life for.  We are beyond blessed to share life with you.  

Love- Mildred

Sunday, June 18, 2017

Father's Day :)

Although my father is no longer with us on Earth, I find myself smiling because I get to share my time with another amazing father, the husband person.

In years past, I've written about all the things that make him an amazing father. I could repeat them for you but most of you, whether by actually knowing him or knowing me, already know exactly how much he does for me, the medium person, and now, my mom. I wish I had a new trick. The things that made me chase this man down and pursue him relentlessly, are the same things that still make me love him today.

I will not be doing a list today. But I will share an open letter to the husband person on Father's Day and a quick story.

The medium person was probably 4 when this happened. We sent her outside to get something from our storage building. Apparently, an angry yellow jacket had other plans, and stung her right on the forehead. She had never been stung by anything at this point, and runs into the house, holding her forehead with a panicked look on her face. "Daddy, those bees stung me!" The husband person goes on a rampage and immediately begins to take out a nest of yellow jackets. I watched from the window, amused, because he was cursing like the yellow jackets understood him and because, our daughter was fine. This man wanted to kill every yellow jacket in existence. If any of you were to ever ask him why he hates yellow jackets, rest assured, he'll tell you about the "attack" on his sweet little girl. Of course, ridding the world of things that will hurt our daughter is impossible, but he'll do his darndest to try.

Dear Husband,

I've said it many times and I think it's worth mentioning again. You are everything in a Father that you need to be and more. You are gentle, patient, and firm, when appropriate. You respect women and show our daughter how to give and receive love. She will never have to search for examples of the way women should be treated. She's watched you her whole life. I haven't held a door in 15 years, when you're around and you are a shining example of chilvary being alive and well.

The very best thing about you is your calf muscles. I'm kidding. It is your integrity. You are not one of those "Do as a say, not as I do" kind of parent. I'll admit, that's my area. You are a man of your word and our daughter knows that her father is a consistent, force in her life. A force that will push her to do her best. Encourage her when she doubts herself. Dust her off when she falls down. Let her make mistakes. If you did nothing else for us, it would be more than enough.

We started this crazy life as teenagers. We made mistakes along the way. Lots of mistakes. Sooo many mistakes. But with every mistake, I watched you grow. I watched you progress your career and education in ways that I never thought possible.

The things that make you an amazing father are just a sliver of who you are. There are so many wonderful, intricate details that make you the great man that I write to today. I will never be able to accurately describe how wonderful it is watch you love our daughter. There are times that I'm jealous of your silly banter. How she jerks open the door when you come home from work. You are the fun parent who never has to raise your voice. You are able to lead our household while still showing compassion and grace.

Thank you for everything you do and will do for our daughter. You pick up my slack, which is often and abundant, and for that I am immensely blessed. I love You.



Wednesday, April 19, 2017

14 At last!

My daughter can be a bit of a handful. She always has been. She enjoys making us work. It's her thing. So, when she asked for a cactus, strawberry cake with vanilla icing, and a speech with 15 things we like about her, I wasn't surprised. That's just who she is. She's difficult. And I love it.  

Approaching her birthday for the past few years has been something that I faced apprehensively.  My father passed away on her birthday two years ago and we've struggled with honoring his memory and still celebrating her birthday.  My father adored my daughter and they were incredibly close.  This is a big year.  She's ready to celebrate.  People who love her are preparing surprises for her and honestly, I think my Dad would be angry with us if weren't showering his "Poopy" with gifts. 

So, without further adieu, let me count the ways..........
1.You love murder mysteries.  Your papaw was a Poirot enthusiast and it warms my heart when I see you reading Agatha Christie!
2. You are a loyal friend.  I hate this about you sometimes!  Sometimes I think you need to drop people and you just love them even harder.  I want to protect you from those types of people that hurt me at your age.  You just refuse to stop loving, no matter how many horror stories I tell you about awful friendships.  It's admirable.
3.  You smile ALOT.  Not just those weird toothy smiles that I give people to scare them.  Genuine kindness is on your face.
4.  You try to protect the world from my wrath.  This one is important.  There have been so many times when you  knew Hulk Kim was enroute, when you'd try to warn people.  They don't listen because you're just a sweet girl and they get distracted by your hair.  What could you know right?  WRONG!  KIM SMASH------ KIM SMASH GOOD!
5.  You figured out the world sucked this year and you decided to not suck with it.  We started this year with some not so nice things happen and you encountered some not so nice people.  You could have stayed in the house and hidden but instead, you choose to go out and help people by volunteering.
6.  You smell so sweet when you're sleeping.  Don't ask me how I know about this one.
7.  You have the cutest back dimples.  You don't let me tickle them anymore, but you always go to sleep.......
8.  Your taste in music is eclectic.  I'm going to leave that one alone.
9.  You will try any food once.  You are so brave and I appreciate your willingness to sample the strange things I put in front of you.  The cauliflower pizza was amazing and you didn't even blink when you tried it.
10.  You have no clue how much boys look at you.  As much as I would like to pretend you aren't an attractive young woman, that's just not the case.  Boys look at you and you stare at your books.  It's fun to watch them walk down our shopping aisles more than once. 
11.  You dance your way out of awkward situations.  This makes me giggle and I'm positive you got this from me.
12.  You cover your head with a blanket when you hear a scary sound in the house.  I'm not sure what you think the blanket will do to help you.
13.  You understand the patriarchy.  Enough said.
14.  You understand that the masses who are fighting the patriarchy doesn't necessarily mean they are fighting for girls that look like you.  Sometimes I worry that because we've always pushed for you to surround yourself with different types of people that you may not fully grasp the challenges that being a brown girl will entail.  I wish I could say that the challenges just came from other races and genders.  NOPE.  But guess what? You're already aware.  I would happily allow you to have a conversation about intersectionality with the best of them.
15.  You're okay with me being a mom that doesn't do most things well.  I was often terrified during your younger years about what damage I was doing by choosing to NOT lean in when it came to parenting.  I wasn't going to make you go to church EVERY Sunday because I like to sleep in.  I wasn't going to show up at EVERY school function because I think other people's children are boring.  Guess what!  You came out fine!  Woohooo!  I found out that you didn't care that sometimes I just sent a check to the school instead of being the classroom mom.  All you wanted was me.  Even if that meant getting the Great Value version of those super moms on TV.  You didn't die or lose a limb, yet.  So, I think I'm doing pretty darned good.  Thank you for accepting me and the limited abilities that I have.  Sometimes, kids expect their parents to be super heroes.  You immediately recognized that your mom was more like Midge, Barbie's regular friend.  You recognized it and you loved me anyway.
16.  I'm only listing this one because you asked for 15 and I have to be better than what you expect.  You tell me how good I look and "pretend" to make me stay in the car at school to keep boys away.  You always say it when I need to hear it and that says a lot more about you than you'll ever know. So, again, sweet daughter, you're amazing.  I love seeing you grow up.  I'm not one of those moms that cries about birthdays anymore.  I do feel sad about you finding your way in this world.  When you find your way and get your footing, I know your plans won't always include me.  It happened to me.  It happened to my parents.  I'm sure it happened to their parents and the list goes on.  You're not perfect, by any means.  No one in this house is perfect.  Especially me.  I curse ALOT.  I mean ALOT.  :)  But somehow, between my cursing and your dad's extreme sense of sarcasm, you still manage to be a human person who lives, loves, and makes silly faces along the way.  I can't wait to see what adventures you have in store for us in this next year, even if I'm not included in all of them, I look forward to hearing all about it.  Your eyes will twinkle when you tell the story and you'll yell at me for not being a good listener.  :)  Happy Birthday Brayden!

Monday, March 20, 2017

Hello! You're probably here because of my yard sale flyer. Welcome!!

I've recently been challenged to write more. So, I'm going to attempt to share more. I LOVE cooking and saving money. I'll be sharing money saving tips, budget recipes, and little snippets of anti-wisdom. I get emails from people from all over about this little, ole blog. But, I WANT more Southern followers, dangit!

I have some exciting things around the corner if you visit me often. Be a doll and check out my coupon printer below. It'll help keep the lights running around here and help me seek out quality content to bring you.

Monday, September 5, 2016

Holiday Weekends Oh My!

This weekend has been heaven on earth.  We spent so much time together that I'm ALMOST ready to get back to work.  :)

We went on an amazing adventure to the Global Wildlife Center in Folsom, Louisiana.  It's like a safari with no animals that can eat humans.  The medium person brought her best friend and that made the 2 hour ride a smooth one.

The two hour ride was eventful.  The girls played Uno the entire time because I had a strict "Get your face out of your phone and enjoy your friend policy!"  I love that our friends trust us with their daughter.  Of course, I take care of her like she belongs to me.

The husband person LOVES taking me on adventures.  There are many reasons that I married him but I swear, this is my favorite thing about him.  He loves showing me new things and teaching me useless facts that I will never use again.

We fed giraffe, various types of gazelle, deer, and livestock.  We saw kangaroo, zebra, and a few animals that are almost extinct.

Watching my medium person and her best friend giggle their little heads off  made my heart smile.  I pray that life doesn't change their friendship that began when Brayden was just two years old.  I hope no stinky boys get in the way.  I have a relationship with one person that I knew in high school.  I've lost touch with everyone else for some reason or another.

When the medium person grows up, I want her to be able to contact those friends that remember when they went to the Wild Life Reserve Center when the deer were having fights over the girls.  Sighhhh.  I don't consider this an instance of me living vicariously through my daughter.  I just really want her to have GOOD friends.  Friends that understand that she can't eat out of a plate unless it's white with no decorations on it.  Or friends that get the way she shoves her fruit roll ups in her mouth all at once.
A friend who appreciates her love of weird indy rock bands and 17th century facts about women and access to property.

You'll notice there's no pictures in this post.  I was lazy this time.  I didn't take a single picture the entire time we were gone.  The husband person was the photographer and will share them at some point.  Our family made the choice to enjoy every moment instead of documenting them.

I also have another announcement to make.  The husband person had a friend over who happens to be the medium person's best friend's Dad.  (I know it's getting complicated.)  So, on Sunday, wait for it........ I watched a football game to the end.  I did not complain.  The teams were Notre Dame and the Texas Longhorns.  I picked the Longhorns for the following reasons:
1.  My Maiden name is Irish and I resent that whole angry, drinking sterotype.  (Even though there may be a sliver of truth to it.)
2.  The Notre Dame helmets were a bright gold that offended my senses.
3.  The LongHorn cow was precious and the coat was immaculate.

My team won.

Now there's today.  I haven't left my house and my phone is on do not disturb.  Movies, burgers, laundry, and now that Brayden's asleep........

Let's all have a toast tonight.  Here's to lasting friendship, time with family, and kids going to be early for sexy, fun time.  (Cue the music)

I'm cheating and posting one picture from the Safari.  Just wanted ya'll to see what we had to see when we entered the beautiful facility.  They are NOT shy.  Everyone giggled and the husband person did not.  It was on the ground.  Ok, ok, I'm done.

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Dealing With Bullies and other fun things

The medium person has a bully.  He likes to walk behind her and call her hair "nappy."  Now, there's a whole other reason why that word grinds my gears but I'm going to try to stay on track with this post.
He is a bully.  And before anyone gives me the whole spill about him teasing her because he likes her, I've heard it and it doesn't reassure me at all.

Couple of problems with the nappy statement:

1.  We (Parents of kids with natural hair) hear that word ENOUGH in our own community.  I can't tell you how many times people run up to the medium person, touch her hair, and then ask me when I'm going to relax it.

2.  The boy is Anglo and often makes fun of other ethnicities.  (He makes tribal sounds whenever he sees the CONTINENT of Africa.)

So, as a parent, I'm stuck with a few choices:

1.  I could teach her the KG method of revenge.  I haven't used it in years but let me give you an example:  Let's say your words are bb bullets.  Well, my words, are like atomic bombs that return to later salt the earth to make sure that your descendants will never live off the land again.  It's an effective method but also HURTS people.

2.  Kill them with kindness.  (This is the dumbest advice my parents ever gave me.)  Something about turning the other cheek, blah blah blah.  I'm not doing it.  My dad used to try to quote some pacificist and say the way to lose an enemy is to make them a friend.  (Insert gagging sound here.)
Typing that statement made me miss him so much.  He had no enemies.  Sheesh.  People loved that man.

3.  Turn him into the school and possibly have him tease her more.

4.  Equip her with human life skills that will help her deal with him on her own.  (The aforementioned skills will need to be from her father because I have none.

5.  Slow my car down every time I see him in the neighborhood and stare at his little smug face, while playing rap music, of course.  (I would never do that one, by the way.)

Guess who handled it on her own!!!!  The medium person!

She was presented an opportunity in class to speak about having experiences with people treating you differently because of the way that you look.  The medium person got up, stared at that little b........ , I'm not going to call him that, and said, yes, "Someone constantly calls my hair nappy and it hurts me."  She never said his name.  His face fell.  Now, he's been complimenting her on her art work and she is ignoring him like she always did.  No friendship here slug.  Keep it moving.

Sighhhhhh, the husband is raising such a great girl.  My suggestion would have landed her detention or worse.

Let's see what else has happened:  started 8th grade; looking at a boarding school for high school; and wearing colored lip gloss with mascara!!

She has sweet friends and the husband person and I are getting more and more alone time these days.  *****Bomp chicka wow wowwwww*****  Is anyone else finding their significant other sexier these days?  Ok, I'm done.  The medium person would be upset when she reads this.  :)

I'm a jogger ya'll.