Monday, December 15, 2014

Break throughs

A few weeks ago, I wrote about praying for a sign that I needed to make some serious changes in my life.  I also wrote that those signs had come and gone with flashing red lights, and that I constantly ignored them.

On Sunday, I finished a huge meeting that took weeks and weeks to prepare for.  So, it's kind of like it's my new year. 
Everyone knows what happens with the new year!  Resolutions....

I usually don't make resolutions.  But, this year, I'm kind of a mess and need to diligently work on being a better human being.  Here goes:

1. I'm done overpromising on deadlines.  If you ask me about how long it'll take me to do something, you're getting an honest answer plus 2 days.  

2.  I'm going to respect my family time more.  No one has any obligation to my family except me.  Not friends, not managers, not coworkers.  I have the obligation and I have the duty to give them the best of me.

3.  I'm working a set number of hours each week.  After that, I'm going home.  I'm not going to dwell on what wasn't done and I'm not going to make my family feel bad for needing me.

4.  Sundays are completely reserved for my family.  No exceptions.

5.  Social media limits.  I broke my rule about social media and started sharing again.  Nope.  I'm not going back to that.  I've decided to hide my social media from people who aren't close friends or family.

6.  Date night: I've decided that I don't want my spouse to leave me this year.  We need date nights.  I need to put on makeup more than twice a year.

7.  I'm not going to talk on the phone in the car with my daughter anymore.  She doesn't need to know anything about my endless reports and/or meetings about the memo about the meeting.

8.  I'm limiting phone conversations.  People tend to forget what they've said.  For that reason, I'm going to encourage people to send emails to request things.

9.  I'm going to know when to fold em.  Ha.  Seriously, I'm no longer agonizing over decisions.  If something or someone makes me unhappy, I'm getting rid of it.  Life is precious and we all deserve to be happy.

10.  I'm going to smile more and yell less.  Especially when it comes to my family. They've done nothing but love me and my jumbled mess that I call my life.  They deserve to get the best of me and not the leftovers.

That's it, folks.  :)

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

My Self Absorbed Confession Post

Here's where I am...

Yesterday, I came home, took off my shoes, and sat down on my closet floor.  I spent 10 minutes crying while watching Mr. Roger's videos on my laptop.

I've been dealing with an extremely challenging issue for a few years that I've just decided to accept will never change.  I can't go into explicit detail but here's what I will say:

1.  Humility is the most valuable asset any of us can have.  
2.  Being kind in private and in public is free.  It costs nothing.
3.  Telling someone they are "just" anything makes them angry.  (Example: Oh, you're just his (blank), therefore, your feelings are blah, blah, blah.)
4.  Wealth does NOT always equal inferior intellect.
5.  Saying, "Oh, that's just (insert name here), that's just how they come across," does not exempt anyone from bad behavior.  I don't care how many times you say it.
6.  We mess up sometimes.  Being human means we're allowed to make mistakes.
7. Sometimes your concerns, even if true, just don't matter and that's ok.

A few months ago, someone approached me in my Sunday school class and told me I seemed different, changed.  It wasn't a compliment.  Suddenly, I knew what they meant.  I'm a shell of the person I was 5 years ago.

I've prayed for signs about what to do and I keep ignoring them.   Day after day, God sends me reminders of the truly valuable things in my life.  He's given me opportunity after opportunity and I've often let them slip through my fingers because of fear and self doubt.

Well, today's the day, folks.  I'm moving forward.  No more crying on the floor.  God's given me a sign with big flashing lights and I'm finally ready to listen.








Sunday, September 7, 2014

I'm Breaking Up With Facebook

I'll admit it.  I'm an oversharer.  I love posting random thoughts and nothingness.  I guess I just really like hearing or seeing myself talk.  Ike is the opposite.  He's a man of few words.  When he speaks, people tend to take notice and listen.

I share my recipes, joys, sorrows, and mostly things about my amazing medium sized person.  I joined Facebook in 2007 after Ike, of all people, began telling me about all the people from college who asked about me.  What?!  People missed me.  I had to get in on this mystical world that my husband belonged to that I didn't.

Here's my "Dear John" letter to Facebook:

Dear Facebook,

We've had a great run.  You've given me views into people's lives that I'd otherwise never have seen.  I've volunteered, partied, cried, laughed, and even argued with so many amazing people and it's all because of you.

The thing is, I'm bored.  Yes, you're a plethora of excitement and change daily.  I think that's what bores me the most.  I share things and people laugh.  People share things and I laugh.  People talk about politics and religion.  I complain about people who talk about politics and religion.  I comment about the joys and sorrows of life.  People try to figure out exactly what brings me joy and sorrow.  It's the same thing, day after day.

You've crippled me, Facebook.  I've gotten lazy.  I no longer have to make an effort to maintain relationships.  I can just send them a quick message on Facebook or comment on their status to let them know I care.  That convenience, at first glance, seems to make life simple.  I tend to be of the opinion that it actually complicates life tremendously.  You see, life during the time I'll call B.F. (before Facebook), if I discovered someone was annoying, I'd just not talk to them.  I'd avoid them and their phone calls and eventually they'd get the point.  The same thing could be said of people and their relationships with me.  Life was simpler.  I didn't feel attached to people because I didn't have to look at pictures of their amazing children or great lives daily.

Now, I'll acknowledge that I'm to blame for this breakup as well.  I didn't realize that when you overshare on social media, people tend to expect you to overshare in real life.  When people approach me at work, church, or the grocery store and ask me how I feel and I say "fine,"I expect to be able to carry on and not have to explain why I changed my profile picture to a bear eating a picnic table with a look of rage on his face.  I know that I've created this super fun happy go lucky character that never gets down.  I'm silly, witty, and sometimes a tad bit sarcastic but ALWAYS upbeat.  Not everything is related to a certain event, sometimes I just feel like crap.  I'm allowed that being human and all.  Lately, I've felt down more often than usual.  It's not something I want to share with the world but I do drop tidbits of my though process throughout the week.  You can usually guess what I'm feeling by looking at my profile picture.  I love being surrounded by supportive people.  Support doesn't mean I want to explain myself over and over again.  (Especially to my parents who don't even have a Facebook account, but always seem to know what I write.) That's another story in itself.

I don't want you to think I don't appreciate all you've done for me.  I've reconnected with people that I hope to continue to engage in real life.  I've also befriended people from my past that I never would have gotten the opportunity to know otherwise.  I am forever grateful for a place to express myself.  You led me to blogging and reintroduced me to my love of the written word.

I'm not deleting you.  I'm going to try have a ghost profile, so I don't lose my posts and pictures.  I'll also still post links to my blog and my coupon shopping trips.  In the upcoming weeks, I'll be reaching out to friends and family to get their personal email addresses.  I'm going to make an effort to cultivate relationships with people that I feel value me and my family.

 I want to be completely honest with you, Facebook.  I've been using Twitter and I like it.  It'll never replace what we had but it's a great platform to push my blog and future writing endeavors.

Life will be different as we transition into a different relationship.  Now, when I see a turtle running across my yard, I'll not race to get my phone to record it for Facebook, I'll simply enjoy the turtle running across my yard.

Carpe diem, ya'll. :)

P.S.  Follow me on Twitter @kimhatesfootbal (One l folks.)




Monday, August 11, 2014

An Open Letter to My Butterfly Chasing Daughter



Today, my medium person entered middle school.  Yes, folks, I have a 6th grader.  Instead of crying and lamenting the gradual loss of my baby, I’ve decided to offer her advice with cat pictures.  :)



   
You’ll grow into your nose.  When I look back at old pictures of me at my parents house, I understand why I begged to wear makeup.  I was one ugly duckling.  J  It changes, I promise.
Some friendships will last and others, will fade.  That’s ok.  As we grow up, people sometimes grow apart.  Your mom’s 31 and still trying to figure out friendships.

You’re human.  Your parents are human.  That means we’re allowed to make mistakes.  The best part about having  human parents is that they will love you and help you learn from your mistakes.  Your dad and I made enough mistakes for your entire 6th grade class.  (Mostly daddy though.)




It’s ok to want to be a little girl.  I know that you’re surrounded by people who want you to like what they like.   You don’t have to.  Play as often as you’d like and for as long as you like.  I’ll be here to supply you with an endless amount of toys until you no longer want them.





People who tease are usually jealous.  I know everyone says this but I can assure you it’s the truth.  You’re extraordinarily smart, beautiful, and loving.  Expect there to be a few naysayers.  Know that the teasers ALWAYS find you on social media as an adult to tell you how awesome you are.




Being a girl is not a pass for mediocrity.  If I hear one more person use the words “like a girl” as a way to insult someone, so help me, okay, okay, whew, excuse me, I got off track.  I refuse to let anyone say that it’s ok for you to bring home average grades in math because, well, girls aren’t good in math.  Bullhockey.



You’re an amazing human.   You walk this planet and sincerely believe that you’re going to make it a better place to live.  I thought you were just idealistic and silly the first few years of your life.  Now, I freaking believe it.    



The world’s already better with you in it.   If anyone tells you differently, know that I’m always nearby to wipe the floor with them.

Have a great year sweetness.  J
Love,
Mildred




a

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Momventures.......

 I've been in a bit of a funk lately.  Can't quite put my finger on it, but just a general state of blah.

A friend suggested I shake things up and randomly try something new.  My first reaction was, "Don't you see how busy I am?!  There's swim lessons, payroll at work, and dinner to worry about!  How am I gonna try something new?  Why would I even want to?"

I immediately freaked out just at the mention of trying something new!  I'll be honest.  Shaking things up for me usually just means a new casserole.  I'm not adventurous and new things give me hives.  (Kidding, but I feel anxiety, that counts, right.)

I decided to follow the friend's advice and  try something new.  I went to get a hot stone massage on yesterday.

I'm sparing you all of the details but my therapist worked extremely hard on me.  It took me around 20 minutes to stop thinking about everything I had left on my to do list.  As he worked on the many, many knots in my shoulders, I finally let the smell of jasmine and the sound of reggae take me away.  

I was able to close my eyes and just be.  There aren't many moments for someone like me to do that.  I'm always worrying about what needs to be done and who may be calling me at any given moment. For an hour, I was just Kim.  No one asked me about financial statements, dinner plans, laundry, or ANYTHING.  The world didn't end!  The universe was still in existence. 

Things I learned:

1.  People with dreads make me smile.  :) Random but true.

2.  I really need to take better care of myself.  I'm a basket case and it's self created!

3.  I want to try something new every month, indefinitely.  It felt good to do something that made me a little uncomfortable.

4.  Friends, who, for whatever reason, make these types of suggestions are worth keeping around.


Friday, June 27, 2014

My super amazing CVS trip

A few weeks ago, I was sent an email to complete a survey for CVS.  I get them sometimes and they usually take about 10 minutes and I'm rewarded with a $2 Extra Care Buck.  I'm always happy to get free money!  Well, this survey took 30 minutes and I was so excited to receive a $15 Extra Care Buck!


Whoop! Whoop!  Who doesn't like free money?  

I decided to try to turn this $15 into cash for my family in the form of a gas card promotion or rebates.

Enter the CVS Dial/Hendel promotion.  Buy $30 worth of selected products and get a $10 gift card for BP or Exxon.

Here's my Trip:


All these items were buy one get one free.  The total before coupons was $44.73.  I used:
3 Buy 2 Get One Free Coupons= -$13.47
2 $2 off any 2 Rightguard Defense items =-$4.00
1 $1 off any 2 Dial Foaming Soap =-$1.00
1 $15 ECB from the survey I mentioned earlier

Total after coupons: $11.43



An amazing trip by itself buttttttt, it gets better.  Remember the gas card promo I told you about?  Well, here's what printed:



The cashier told me I didn't have to redeem it the same day and that I could wait.  I wish I would wait on my money! 

So, it gets even better!  There's yet another rebate for Henkel products (Dial, Right Guard, Tone, etc.) if you buy $25, you'll get yet another gas card.  It's done by emailing or texting the photo of your receipt.

So, let's do the math:

$11.43 in real money spent.

In addition to all the loot pictured above, I also got:


Plus, I'm getting the $10 rebate for this:

Soooo, I got paid $9.27 in gas for driving 3 miles to my local CVS.  It did take me about 30 minutes to come up with this scenario but still.  ;)  Oh, by the way, I'm not a hoarder.  We're going to donate quite a bit.  I'm typing that and saying it out loud so Ike doesn't kill me.

Whoop Whoop!  












Sunday, June 15, 2014

Family Dollar - 6-14

Price Before Coupons: $28.08
Price After Coupons: $11.38
60% Discount.  I used a combination of store coupons and manufacturer coupons.